Learning to let go of “that thing”

One of the biggest lessons in life is learning to let go of our own attachments.  Learning to let others be who they are without the need to control or judge their choices and behavior.  Spending our time dwelling on the fact that someone did something differently than we would have done and turning it into “a thing” does nothing but give the situation more heavy energy.  Not only that, 

  • it pulls us away from being in the present moment and addressing things as they are right now because we're so busy addressing how we wanted them to be.

  • It sends a message to the other person that they should behave in a certain way to please those around them - and let’s be honest, living to please other people is no way to live.

Allow room others to live and speak their truth, whatever that may be, just as we would like room to live and speak ours.  That doesn’t mean we need to agree with their choices or accept their behavior if it goes against our own value system or beliefs.  It just means to let go of our attachment to how it “should” have been and to stop driving ourselves crazy by constantly thinking about it, talking about it, making up more stories about it and dragging other people into it by telling them about it.


We spin ourselves in circles by constantly focusing on shit we don’t want and then we wonder why we get more of it.  We want others to make the same choices we would make even though their life path is different.  Sometimes a simple acceptance of what is right now in this moment, is exactly what we need to do to jump off the hamster wheel and start the shift- at least for me it is.  

Although ____ is out of my control, I’m making the choice to ____ and focus on ____ instead.  *deep breath*

A few key questions to ask:

  • How important is this truly in the grand scheme of things?

  • What's the REAL issue here? Why am I REALLY holding onto this? Often, when we go deep, we find that the issue really isn't the issue. We might blow up over something seemingly trivial when the root of the issue is that we're feeling a lack of connection and trust.

  • What part of this do I have control over? What part of this is out of my control?

  • How is this making me feel and is this how I want to feel the rest of the day?


If we truly want to live a more fulfilling and peaceful life, we must be willing to look just as closely at our own behaviors and patterns as we do the behaviors of others. 

Over to you: 

Where do you find you have the hardest time letting go?  What do you do to shift your focus and stop spinning in circles?  I'd love to hear from you in the comments below.  



Coach Reita 

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