It’s ok to be angry.
I’m not sure exactly when I noticed how much weight the question “what’s wrong” carries when someone is angry [or depressed, or sad]. It’s subconscious message that it’s “wrong” to be in any state other than cooperative, content or happy or at least put on the facade that we are.
As if there needs to be an explanation, a reason, a way to put tangible stamp of approval to validate feeling a certain way or that you have to “earn the right” to feel angry about something. As children, we’re often shut down when we express anger- that right gets reserved for adults- so we’re taught to stuff it down, ignore it, find a different way to express or cope with it, often doing more damage over the years.
If we don’t have space to feel, we don’t have space to heal. Part of this beautiful life is being able to experience a range of emotions, fluidly, without judgement. Learning that what I felt was valid and I didn’t need to carry shame around it was my wakeup moment.
Some things to say instead of “what’s wrong”:
Would you like to talk about it?
What do you need right now?
What can I do to support you?
Don’t say anything, just be in silence
What comes up for you around anger? Were you taught that it was acceptable or unacceptable? Share in the comments below.