19 things I've learned from being in a toxic relationship

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  1. You can start to believe in something, even if you know it not to be true, if it's repeated enough times.

  2. It is possible to lose your sense of reality and start to question your own sanity without even realizing it (click here or read this for more on gaslighting). 

  3. Abuse does not have a "look", it comes in all shapes, sizes, experiences, genders, roles, families and cultures.

  4. Toxicity or abuse that’s accepted as a social or cultural norm is still toxicity or abuse.

  5. Not everyone will be comfortable with your boundaries and you're not responsible for their level of comfortably.

  6. Boundaries aren't set in stone.  It's ok to change them and change your mind on things in general.

  7. You can't love someone into facing something they aren't ready to face, understand something they aren't ready to understand or doing something they aren't willing and ready to do.  Period.  

  8. Someone can be a “nice” person and still be an abuser.

  9. If "it" makes you feel as though you can't say anything to the other person without backlash (no matter what "it" is), it's a toxic relationship.

  10. You are allowed to feel unsafe even if others don’t feel the same way in the same situation; not everyone has access to the same sense of 'safe'. 

  11. There are times when words will be inadequate to fully express how we feel on the inside (I’ve found that movement, dance and art are incredible alternatives)

  12. There can still be brave spaces even when there are no safe spaces.

  13. Humans are resilient AF!  Often way more resilient than we believe ourselves to be.

  14. Forgiveness is less about the other person and more about you, the lessons you’ve received and how you want to move forward with your life.

  15. Understanding my role and contribution to the relationship’s toxicity was a huge step in my healing and growth.

  16. Not everyone will understand your lived experience.  Your experience is still valid.

  17. Your experience is valid.

  18. Your experience is valid.

  19. Your experience is valid.

What’s one of the biggest lessons you’ve learned from being in a toxic situation? Share it in the comments below.

Xx,

Coach Reita

 
Hi, I’m Reita and I'm here to support you in increasing your confidence, living your best life, and being the best version of you. I specialize in coaching for your whole self (your body, mind, brain and spirit) including emotional health, stress management, personal development, resiliency, change groundwork, and self care.

Hi, I’m Reita and I'm here to support you in increasing your confidence, living your best life, and being the best version of you. I specialize in coaching for your whole self (your body, mind, brain and spirit) including emotional health, stress management, personal development, resiliency, change groundwork, and self care.